Comments

  1. Iala says

    Hi Keith,
    This post really made me chuckle… I could tell you I hear comparisons like this all the time from my patients (and I do), but who am I kidding,I compare myself to others all the time: in my field, online — everywhere. Hey it’s the human condition. Thanks for the link to Dr. Shallard’s post, he makes some good points.
    Another thoughtful post, looking forward to your next!
    Iala!

  2. Sue Miley says

    When I was reading it made me think of the Proverbs 31 Woman from the bible. She did it all. Took care of her family, household, husband and was successful in business, generous in giving, and the model owner of servants. Everyone loved her. It is a hard example to live up to.

    I agree that we can be any or an eclectic mix of the different types if we match our life and career to our personality and gifts. I think it is even more important though to look at how we define success.

    I think that if we have our own personal definition, versus the world’s, it is more meaningful when we achieve it. Trying to live up to other’s standards feels like a moving target.

    Great thought provoking post!

    • Keith says

      Thanks Sue, I just love people who reference the classics 🙂
      A process I find fascinating is how individuals arrive at their own “personal definition of success” in the midst of culture’s “moving target,” as you refer to it.
      I hope to explore that topic more in the future.
      Thanks for commenting!
      Keith

  3. Mark says

    Hey wait just a minute there, Keith: I’m pretty darned happy all the time, and all my friends are happy as well — does that make me “Shiny?” 🙂

    • Keith says

      Well Mark, your photo does have an ethereal glow — my suspicions have been confirmed – you are indeed a Happy Shiny Person.
      Happy to have a few as readers… 🙂
      Keith

      • Mark says

        After seeing Susan’s comments, I’m officially renouncing my Shiny-status membership card 😉 I’m happy being happy, thank you very much.
        And Susan, that Norm Brodsky quote you shared is superb: “The life plan needs to come before the business plan.”
        That’s really what this is all about: As I build my business the “TransformNation way,” I’m laser-focused on making certain every decision I make supports both my short-term and long-term goals.
        Thanks for a great conversation!
        Mark

        • Susan Daffron says

          The quote is from a book called “The Knack” that he wrote with Bo Burlingham. It has been re-released as “Street Smarts: An All-Purpose Toolkit for Entrepreneurs.” It’s actually one of the best business books I’ve ever read.

  4. Susan Daffron says

    I like Mark’s comment. I’m happy too, but I’m SO not shiny 😉

    In fact, I find it amusing that I have referenced the shiny people in some of my articles too. And here I thought it was just me who noticed the “shiny happy people” with their glittering events, designer outfits, perfect makeup, and trips to the spa.

    One thing that I’ve found interesting over the years is that online, people can (and do) create a shiny persona that isn’t real. After working with a few shiny clients, I learned that up close, some of those shiny people are downright miserable. (Be careful what you wish for!)

    Unlike a lot of the shiny people, I’m actually happy. I make no bones about the fact that I work hard. Most successful people I’ve met also work hard and are constantly learning.

    There was a blog post recently that surveyed a number of highly successful bloggers. They all copped to the fact that they were working 60-100 hour weeks, 7 days/week. They weren’t working 4 hours/week and jet setting around the globe. They spend a lot of time sitting in front of their computer answering email. (Sound familiar?)

    Success takes work and a lot of times the shine from those shiny people is a a big fat illusion. I think it’s a bad idea to compare yourself to others until you know the complete story. A lot of what you’re seeing online isn’t real.

    • Keith says

      Wow, Susan! Spot on – you’ve really drilled down to the heart of the matter.
      And with stats, too!
      I can definitely second your observations: I haven’t seen a successful online marketer yet who isn’t working or thinking about working 24/7.
      While I think there are legitimate ways to structure a business to create a bit of the lifestyle so many gooroos advertise, the bottom line is very much like those glossy magazines we all see in the checkout line.
      All those airbrushed and photo-shopped models are very often just as fabricated as the personas of some of those online gooroos so many of us think we have to emulate.
      Thanks for your comments, Susan.
      Keith

      • Susan Daffron says

        I completely agree that there are definitely things you can do to structure your biz so it works for you. There’s a great quote from Norm Brodsky that I cited during our conference presentation recently: “The life plan needs to come before the business plan.”

        That’s the only way you can achieve balance, in my opinion. You have to look at your biz as just one aspect of your life. There are many, many ways to define success. For me, it’s all about being happy with my *life*, not just my biz 😉

        • Sue Miley says

          I think that is where I am. I don’t work 24/7 or 7 days a week. I have reformed my workaholic tendencies about 8 years ago. And I am happy with the success I have achieved.

          Do I want to still improve? Absolutely.

          But not at all costs. I want to be happy with my “life” first too!

          • Mark says

            I really relate to this conversation right now. I’m about ready to “retire,” and I’m pretty well set. I’m not chasing some “4 Hour Workweek” because I need the cash.
            In fact, the whole Internet thing left me cold until I read one of the posts on TransformNation (and you guys don’t have a search bar, hint-hint) – I don’t recall the title — something about the web being an avenue for self-expression, as a platform from which to grow and develop as a person while also helping others with your “specialty.” That message really resonates with me, which all comes back to what Sue and Susan both expressed: the only way an “internet biz” works for me is if it expands my life, adds richness to my life goals.
            And the rest of the Internet big shots out there are so go-go, in your face, make your killing now, hurry, faster-faster – I feel like I’m on Wall Street again…
            I look forward to not retiring when I retire, but starting a whole new “career” on my own terms.
            What a great group commenting on this site!
            Cheers,
            Mark

  5. Craig Morton says

    Just got a chance to join the conversation … earlier, Sue said something cool: “I think that if we have our own personal definition, versus the world’s, it is more meaningful when we achieve it. Trying to live up to other’s standards feels like a moving target.

    I can admit this now, because it’s behind me, but a few years ago, I became ensnared in the very trap Keith and Susan describe, and I can see now it was simply because I didn’t yet have a firm grasp on my own personal definition of success.

    A few years ago I started getting emails from some Super Shiny Internet Superstar pushing his newest amazing workshop. I happily dropped a couple grand on his Internet workshop. (I was young and foolish, so that’s my excuse 😉 Here’s what really opened my eyes: Two weeks later, the guy drops out of the business. Just falls apart, in front of the whole world – and sold his whole list (which unfortunately included me) to some hyper-slick sales guy. I was pretty stunned – because just a few weeks earlier, he’d been painting this image of his life and business that I was buying.

    Two years ago, I wouldn’t have took a second look at this site. Now, it speaks my language. Life comes first: Decide who I am, what I have to offer, and how I want to live — then build that platform. Things make a whole lot more sense now!
    Thanks guys – this site rocks!
    Craig

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