Have you ever compared yourself to others succeeding online and thought to yourself, “if I only had their stamina / wit / confidence / [insert your favorite here], maybe I’d be able to succeed, too?”
Some people seem to be naturals: for them success appears effortless, even predestined. It’s as if they’re born with something extra. They don’t seem to procrastinate, or feel socially awkward, or ever doubt themselves.
Do You Have The “Online Business Success Gene?”
It can make one wonder if success itself is based on genetic traits.
Like brown hair.
Or green eyes.
Or going into politics.
So, just for the fun of it, I took a look at people who seem to be naturally successful and came up with the “Business Success Types.”
See if you recognize any of these three “types.”
1. The Energizer Buddy
This magical person has two insanely wonderful things going for him or her: She seems to have boundless energy that never runs out, and just loves people. Others are naturally drawn to her magnetic tractor beam of energetic goodness.
She is everyone’s best friend, ever.
This Energizer Buddy has a mysterious internal energy source; arising at the crack of dawn energized by her to-do list and effortlessly leaping into the day – after of course energetically jogging two miles, energetically getting the kids off to school, and energetically handling several phone calls and emails.
What’s more, she achieves all of this before 8 a.m.; with eyes sparkling while looking fresh, tanned, rested, and naturally, eternally youthful.
Let’s see: I feel brain-dead until the first morning dose of caffeine begins seeping through the cracks of my frontal lobe.
It would appear that by these standards, in the Internet biz, I’m toast.
Maybe there’s hope with the next B.S. Type?
2. The Super Geek
Two words: Bill Gates.
Need I say more?
OK, maybe I do.
During the Internet’s first decade, it seemed that you had to be a geek to succeed online.
Case in point: Google geek-extraordinaire Perry Marshall. When I attended my first big, official Perry event it appeared that every person there was a master mathematician. Every one of them carried spreadsheets in their pocket, and lived and breathed Excel.
They were a foreign species. Math was my worst subject in high school. I loved English.
Nope. No hope for me here.
But, wait. There is one more Business Success Type.
3. The Shiny Happy Person (SHP)
The SHP enters a room and all eyes turn. It seems this Shiny Person travels with his or her own personal spotlight technician: an ethereal glow follows them like an expensive fragrance.
And success follows them as well. Everything they touch turns to their own special brand of burnished gold. Are they lucky? Blessed? Just always in the right place at the right time?
Or are they just mysteriously, magically magnetic?
With all that’s going for these Shiny Happy People, who could blame them for being so darned happy all the time?
They’re happy.
All their Shiny Happy friends are happy.
The SHP only hangs around other happy people, and participates in activities that maintain – or exceed – their expected level of happiness.
So, for those keeping score: Maybe you’re occasionally grouchy. Check.
Perhaps you’re not always feeling so shiny. Double Check.
Okay, so maybe there are more than three types, but the real question is this: do these people have something that you or I don’t have?
And, if we don’t have what they have, are we doomed to fail?
Have the “rest of us” lost some kind of genetic lottery? Are we doomed to failure because we don’t have just the right combination of innate B.S. Traits?
In Your Natural Habitat
The best antidote to these thoughts is to hang out with other successful people.
It was when I began partnering with a string of highly successful Energizer Buddies that I was able to observe them, in their natural habitat, up close and personal-like.
It turns out that most of them were ordinary folk, just like me. In fact, a few of them had turned to entrepreneurship because of the very issue of energy: they were burned out and exhausted by the corporate rat race, and just needed a nap.
Just try getting an afternoon nap at your typical corporate office.
Some were not naturally highly energetic at all! But, they were successful because entrepreneurship gave them the freedom to customize their work to fit their natural traits – not because they already had some perfect set of success traits to begin with.
In fact, I discovered that many of these Shiny, Geeky, or Energetic people appeared this way to others because they had created a lifestyle and schedule for themselves that allowed them to do whatever they needed to be more successful – even taking an afternoon nap (gasp!).
So, there isn’t one success type.
As fun as this was, I hope we’ve all figured that out.
1. You don’t have to be shiny.
The shiny people just stand out more because they are inclined to seek the spotlight more. For every shiny person in front of the camera, there are five more who prefer working at home, quietly typing away on their blog with their list of 10,000 happy readers, and making a very good living for their family, thank you very much.
2. There is no success gene.
Every time you catch yourself looking at someone who appears to have been “predestined” for success, take a look at someone who didn’t have any breaks. This became crystal clear for me while reading the outstanding book by the rapper 50 Cent and philosopher Robert Greene, The 50th Law. Here’s a kid who grew up in the projects, surrounded by abject poverty and crime. Yet, he made it and has developed a philosophy about the whole experience of creating success from seemingly nothing.
3. There are, however, success habits and a success mindset.
I have a friend from high school who still swears – some thirty years later – that our hometown’s wealthy family proved the “success gene” hypothesis.
After all, Shiny, Happy grandfather had passed along the skills, networks of contacts, and resources to his Shiny Successful son, who then passed it all on to his Shiny, Happy Successful sons and daughters.
Having spent many summers with this family, let me reveal what this family’s success legacy was: Habits – and not natural habits, at that – but learned habits.
4. It’s OK to compare, just compare strategically.
In a recent post, psychologist Peter Shallard recommends that rather than pretending we don’t compare ourselves to others, instead focus on comparing ourselves to better quality role models.
Writes Dr. Shallard:
You’re making social comparisons whether you like it or not. It’s happening dozens of times a day. It’s time to start making these comparisons work for you. The point of this post is simply to ask: Who are you making comparisons with? Who could you be using as a more empowering yard stick for your success?
Over to You . . .
Let’s bust some more “success type” mythology! What success “types” have you observed out “in the wild?
Do you think that there are any qualities that a person must be born with in order to succeed?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Iala says
Hi Keith,
This post really made me chuckle… I could tell you I hear comparisons like this all the time from my patients (and I do), but who am I kidding,I compare myself to others all the time: in my field, online — everywhere. Hey it’s the human condition. Thanks for the link to Dr. Shallard’s post, he makes some good points.
Another thoughtful post, looking forward to your next!
Iala!
Keith says
Iala,
Happy it made you smile, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Keith
Sue Miley says
When I was reading it made me think of the Proverbs 31 Woman from the bible. She did it all. Took care of her family, household, husband and was successful in business, generous in giving, and the model owner of servants. Everyone loved her. It is a hard example to live up to.
I agree that we can be any or an eclectic mix of the different types if we match our life and career to our personality and gifts. I think it is even more important though to look at how we define success.
I think that if we have our own personal definition, versus the world’s, it is more meaningful when we achieve it. Trying to live up to other’s standards feels like a moving target.
Great thought provoking post!
Keith says
Thanks Sue, I just love people who reference the classics 🙂
A process I find fascinating is how individuals arrive at their own “personal definition of success” in the midst of culture’s “moving target,” as you refer to it.
I hope to explore that topic more in the future.
Thanks for commenting!
Keith
Mark says
Hey wait just a minute there, Keith: I’m pretty darned happy all the time, and all my friends are happy as well — does that make me “Shiny?” 🙂
Keith says
Well Mark, your photo does have an ethereal glow — my suspicions have been confirmed – you are indeed a Happy Shiny Person.
Happy to have a few as readers… 🙂
Keith
Mark says
After seeing Susan’s comments, I’m officially renouncing my Shiny-status membership card 😉 I’m happy being happy, thank you very much.
And Susan, that Norm Brodsky quote you shared is superb: “The life plan needs to come before the business plan.”
That’s really what this is all about: As I build my business the “TransformNation way,” I’m laser-focused on making certain every decision I make supports both my short-term and long-term goals.
Thanks for a great conversation!
Mark
Susan Daffron says
The quote is from a book called “The Knack” that he wrote with Bo Burlingham. It has been re-released as “Street Smarts: An All-Purpose Toolkit for Entrepreneurs.” It’s actually one of the best business books I’ve ever read.
Keith says
Thanks for the tip Susan — just ordered that on Kindle. It sounds like a perfect title to review here.
Susan Daffron says
I like Mark’s comment. I’m happy too, but I’m SO not shiny 😉
In fact, I find it amusing that I have referenced the shiny people in some of my articles too. And here I thought it was just me who noticed the “shiny happy people” with their glittering events, designer outfits, perfect makeup, and trips to the spa.
One thing that I’ve found interesting over the years is that online, people can (and do) create a shiny persona that isn’t real. After working with a few shiny clients, I learned that up close, some of those shiny people are downright miserable. (Be careful what you wish for!)
Unlike a lot of the shiny people, I’m actually happy. I make no bones about the fact that I work hard. Most successful people I’ve met also work hard and are constantly learning.
There was a blog post recently that surveyed a number of highly successful bloggers. They all copped to the fact that they were working 60-100 hour weeks, 7 days/week. They weren’t working 4 hours/week and jet setting around the globe. They spend a lot of time sitting in front of their computer answering email. (Sound familiar?)
Success takes work and a lot of times the shine from those shiny people is a a big fat illusion. I think it’s a bad idea to compare yourself to others until you know the complete story. A lot of what you’re seeing online isn’t real.
Keith says
Wow, Susan! Spot on – you’ve really drilled down to the heart of the matter.
And with stats, too!
I can definitely second your observations: I haven’t seen a successful online marketer yet who isn’t working or thinking about working 24/7.
While I think there are legitimate ways to structure a business to create a bit of the lifestyle so many gooroos advertise, the bottom line is very much like those glossy magazines we all see in the checkout line.
All those airbrushed and photo-shopped models are very often just as fabricated as the personas of some of those online gooroos so many of us think we have to emulate.
Thanks for your comments, Susan.
Keith
Susan Daffron says
I completely agree that there are definitely things you can do to structure your biz so it works for you. There’s a great quote from Norm Brodsky that I cited during our conference presentation recently: “The life plan needs to come before the business plan.”
That’s the only way you can achieve balance, in my opinion. You have to look at your biz as just one aspect of your life. There are many, many ways to define success. For me, it’s all about being happy with my *life*, not just my biz 😉
Sue Miley says
I think that is where I am. I don’t work 24/7 or 7 days a week. I have reformed my workaholic tendencies about 8 years ago. And I am happy with the success I have achieved.
Do I want to still improve? Absolutely.
But not at all costs. I want to be happy with my “life” first too!
Mark says
I really relate to this conversation right now. I’m about ready to “retire,” and I’m pretty well set. I’m not chasing some “4 Hour Workweek” because I need the cash.
In fact, the whole Internet thing left me cold until I read one of the posts on TransformNation (and you guys don’t have a search bar, hint-hint) – I don’t recall the title — something about the web being an avenue for self-expression, as a platform from which to grow and develop as a person while also helping others with your “specialty.” That message really resonates with me, which all comes back to what Sue and Susan both expressed: the only way an “internet biz” works for me is if it expands my life, adds richness to my life goals.
And the rest of the Internet big shots out there are so go-go, in your face, make your killing now, hurry, faster-faster – I feel like I’m on Wall Street again…
I look forward to not retiring when I retire, but starting a whole new “career” on my own terms.
What a great group commenting on this site!
Cheers,
Mark
Craig Morton says
Just got a chance to join the conversation … earlier, Sue said something cool: “I think that if we have our own personal definition, versus the world’s, it is more meaningful when we achieve it. Trying to live up to other’s standards feels like a moving target.
I can admit this now, because it’s behind me, but a few years ago, I became ensnared in the very trap Keith and Susan describe, and I can see now it was simply because I didn’t yet have a firm grasp on my own personal definition of success.
A few years ago I started getting emails from some Super Shiny Internet Superstar pushing his newest amazing workshop. I happily dropped a couple grand on his Internet workshop. (I was young and foolish, so that’s my excuse 😉 Here’s what really opened my eyes: Two weeks later, the guy drops out of the business. Just falls apart, in front of the whole world – and sold his whole list (which unfortunately included me) to some hyper-slick sales guy. I was pretty stunned – because just a few weeks earlier, he’d been painting this image of his life and business that I was buying.
Two years ago, I wouldn’t have took a second look at this site. Now, it speaks my language. Life comes first: Decide who I am, what I have to offer, and how I want to live — then build that platform. Things make a whole lot more sense now!
Thanks guys – this site rocks!
Craig